|
| |
| Dear Sami,
I need some help. I am trying to figure out what size
of Breast is normal for a girl my frame. At first I
thought I was a B, then a C, now I wonder if its a D. I have a band size of 36 I am 5' 9" and weigh 165 lbs. I have looked all over most say, use what you like best. Well I don't know with out buying a form to try out in which case I will be wasting money if its an
undesirable size. I just want an average bust. And I have no place within 100's of miles that I can go to to try forms on.
Please help
Thanks,
Danielle
Dear Danielle,
An average Bust is a "C" cup. A "B" cup is considered small and a "D" cup is considered well endowed. Expectations in size do vary with the amount of body fat you have. If you are an overweight person, you need to bump up the size by one cup size. Hence, the average cup size for a heavy person would be a "D". Many dressers fit that category because they are big girls.
Most of us choose a size that is too small to look realistic. Some choose a size that is too much. The thing to do is try on the different sizes to see what you like. However, it can get expensive to try on many different sizes of Breast Forms so we suggest the Bird Seed trick.
In the Bird Seed trick we first find a Bra that we like and fill it with Bird Seed. That way we can try on different sizes for the cost of a Bra and some Bird Seed. It is fun and inexpensive. And after some experimentation, we learn what size we want to be.
We have a Bird Seed Trick help
page.
It is also helpful to have some clothing to wear as you judge the size. We can help with that as well with a
"Bag of
Clothing". Here is a link to that page:
It is a lot of fun to try on the clothing with more or less Bird Seed. The idea is to fill the cups with Bird Seed until the size of the bust is right for you. Then measure the amount of Bird Seed to estimate the correct size of the Breast Form. We have a chart to convert the amount of Bird Seed into a Breast Form size.
Now the reason we don't use Bird Seed all the time is that it does not move correctly. As a woman moves, the bust flows with the movement. But it does lags behind just a little. Bird Seed does not flow or move. It is like two rocks on your chest. Hence, real Breast Forms have a much more realistic look and feel because they move with you.
Another issue that comes up is finding the right size Bra. It is an issue that most all women have, but we can help with that as well. Here
is a Bra
Size FAQ and a Bra Size Help page that also my prove useful:
Remember to be truthful with yourself. Do you want to be busty? Some do and some don't. Have fun with it and try both on with inexpensive Bird Seed. Then make a decision and purchase a Breast Form.
Hugs,
Sami
|
| Dear Sami,
I am a beginner
at Crossdressing and want to take a trip to the mall. Do you have any tips you can give me on what to wear or how to act?
Thanks,
Nicole
Dear Nicole
Yes, we have some suggestions. The week before the big day go to the mall at the same time of day and take a seat. Watch the women going by. What are they wearing? There also may be better times of day to go. Young women 14 to
22 are very aware of their status as women and are always comparing themselves to the other women around them. They size up every woman they see to judge
themselves and them.
Hence, these young women will notice you. It is best to avoid times right after school when there are large groups of these girls. They can be mean.
You would think their mothers would teach them better manners. You may want to consider going early in the morning while school is in or later in the evening.
I hope this helps. Have a great time and remember to keep your head up and smile.
Hugs,
Sami
|
|
Dear Sami,
What do you say to people when they say oh there goes that
Crossdresser lets get away from him??? I have been Crossdressing for 20 years heard them all what do you think??
Thanks,
Bob
Dear Bob,
When I was growing up you didn't speak to Blacks. Now we accept people of color and don't give it a moments notice. We are maturing as a society, but it takes generations. Public opinion is changing and Crossdressers
are gaining tolerance. In time we will gain acceptance.
The only way that you can control the actions of others is to control your own actions. You have every right to be on this planet. Be polite even
when others are not and teach them that you deserve their tolerance and in time that will lead to acceptance.
Don't let the intolerance of others control your actions. Enjoy your Crossdressing and have a good time.
Hugs,
Sami
|
Dear
Sami,
I'd like to blend in, just don't know where or how to start with limited income...any suggestions appreciated?
Edie
Hello Edie,
Blending in is not so much dependant on money as it is on self acceptance. There are a lot of girls that don’t have a lot of money and they find a way to
blend in just fine. There are also a lot of girls that spend a lot of money on surgery and still are not
happy with the results. The trick is to be happy with yourself. Blending in
requires acceptance of yourself first. Then other will accept you and you will
blend in.
Learn everything you can about the issues and yourself. There are so many wonderful resources on the web. We have links to some of them and
Google or any of the major search engines can help you find almost anything you need.
Then accept yourself as being a good person, not ideal, but a real live good person. We know that society wants perfection in so many things. Gender is just one of them.
The problem for all of us is that nature does not support that desire for
perfection in real people. Nature is not ideal, it is real. Real people span the
distance between the ideal man and the ideal woman. Both medically and psychologically there is a lot of imperfection in both biological sex and gender
identity making real people non-ideal.
So learn what it takes to blend in. It is not so much an issue of money as it is an issue of effort,
attention to detail and an acceptance of yourself. Be observant of the women around you. Notice what they wear and when they wear it. There is a lot to unlearn and a lot to learn. But it all starts by learning about the issues and yourself.
Hugs,
Sami,
|
Dear
Sami,
What do I do when people laugh at me when they know I am a Crossdresser???
Larry
Hello Larry,
This is a tuff question. Typically, my response to people that laugh at me when I am Crossdressed is to mostly ignore them and go about my business. But then what are the options when someone openly laughs at you?
1. Encourage them to fight it out
2. Get in their face
3. Confront them
4. Laugh with them
5. Dismiss them as rude or stupid and let them know it
6. Ignore it and go about your business
Let’s look at the first alternative, encourage them to fight it out when they laugh at you for Crossdressing:
If you fight it out with them, who is in control of you? They are in control of you. This is because you did what they most likely wanted; you got into a fight with them. There are lots of people out there looking for a fight to vent their frustration. Do you want to be the one that helps them vent? Besides, it is hard to keep your wig on straight during a fight. It will also most likely sap the fun out of the any event. You are out Crossdressed to have fun, not to fight. Keep your priorities in sight.
Let’s look at the second alternative, get in their face when they laugh at you for Crossdressing:
If you get in their face, for example get nose to nose and ask “What are you looking at?”, you are asking them for a fight and admitting there is something to look at. Be careful you might get the fight you are asking for. You are clearly in control of the confrontation, but bystanders may think you are out of control. This can escalate out of control as people come to the aid of the “innocent” person that you are attacking. And here again, it will also most likely end in sapping the fun out of any good time.
Let’s look at the third alternative, confront them when they laugh at you for Crossdressing:
You can go up to them and ask them: “Can I help you?”. This exchange can go either way. If there is an alpha male in the group it could escalate. Size up the person or group and make your decision. Educating the public about Crossdressing is a good thing to do. If that is what you want to do, go for it. I wait for people to ask me a question. Laughing at you is not a good indication of the future of a respectful intelligent conversation.
Let’s look at the fourth alternative, laugh with them when they laugh at you for Crossdressing:
Most people don’t have the personal charisma to make this alternative work. If it works for you, that is great. I don’t have that much interpersonal skill.
Let’s look at the fifth alternative, dismiss them as rude or stupid and let them know it when they laugh at you for Crossdressing:
To express what you think to people that are laughing at you is dropping to their level. You have every right to be there. They are being stupid; don’t join them in their stupidity.
Let’s look at the sixth alternative, ignore it and go about your business when they laugh at you for Crossdressing:
If you ignore them you can have a good time and enjoy being out and about. Again, they are being stupid; don’t join them in their stupidity.
Think about how you are going to feel after each of these alternatives. The choices are not really easy to make. We typically have a lifetime of people not approving of what we are when we can no more change it then change the fact that we are left handed or right handed. The choice is up to you. As I said, mostly I ignore them and go about my business. I have too much to do to try and educate stupid people. I focus on the smart ones.
Hugs,
Sami
|
|
|
|
Please
e-mail your questions, of a relevant nature, that would be of help to you
or others to:
Asksami@Samiscloset.com
Remember
this is a Ladies page and all questions must be relevant and appropriate
in nature.
|
|
